And Now, For The Surf Report.

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My wife now gives me the surf report in her sleep. And the weird thing is, she's right. I love this woman.

"Cornmeal...duh."

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I'll take "Where Do Grits Come From" for $500, Alex.

"Tacklemaster!"

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Yeah, yeah, I know - this is probably some bizarre fantasy involving the Gorton's Fisherman, but we're just not going to go there, ok?
Plus - check out my fish. Yeah, that's right.

"Watch it!"

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Ohhhh, a wiseguy, eh? Why I oughta...

"I Don't Care What You Want To Say About Me."

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Y'all better recognize.

"Hooray For The Box Distributor!"

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"I'm the second most successful box distributor in the Tri-Cities area!
Well, I work for him. I mean, I used to."

"What Is Going On With Your Snot!?"

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They say laughter is the best medicine.
Unfortunately, they don't mean "sleep medicine."

"Am I In The Mix?"

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I can't believe we haven't heard the 12" extended club mix of Talking In Her Sleep yet. Get with the program, party people...

"Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa!"

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When she says "whoa," she means whoa!

"Violently Sick!?"

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Pardon us for not coming in.

"I Don't Like Your Attitude."

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You mess with the bull, you get the horns.

"Three Bananas!? I'll Kill You."

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We are passionate about our produce.

"Why Would I Want To Hear That?"

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Who wouldn't want to!? Can I get an amen?

"I Don't Know What The Hell You're Doing..."

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Actually, I'm trying to, you know, sleep. But, hey - anything for art.

"I Am Not Waiting Until You Get A Machine."

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Any machine will do.

"Michael, please. It's kind of...Funke."

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We want the funk. Give up the funk.

"Shut The F*#k Up."

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Hey, remember that time you were asking me the definition of "irony?"

"Stupid Drama"/"Where The Hell Are The Bags!?"

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It's so hard to find good help these days. Not to mention dramatic.

"I Am Not Real Cool On That."

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Baby, you are always cool to me. You're the Pinky Tuscadero to my Fonzie. Now shaddap and go back to sleep. Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

"Screw You Guys, I'm Going Home!"

This one is my all-time favorite. It must have been about 4AM, and she busts out a pitch-perfect Eric Cartman impression.
I just about fell out of bed laughing. It was really hard getting back to sleep, but well worth it. Hopefully we'll be able to capture a recording of something like this in the future.
Respect her authoritah!!!